tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-77870255886138930252007-06-27T03:30:56.199+01:00Peter Carruthershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16502944347938433968noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7787025588613893025.post-31968451511957548582007-06-27T02:25:00.000+01:002007-06-27T03:30:56.203+01:002007-06-27T03:30:56.203+01:00If you want to know what somebody <em>really</em> thinks - ask the question online in a forum. Chances are you'll get a lot more honesty than you want! It gets worse if our hero is hiding behind a pseudonym. This is a problem that most forum moderators face, especially when we deal with the intensely emotive issues that plague us South Africans right now.<br /><br />Over the past few years I have seen vibrant forums (Yeah, I know the technically correct term is <em>fora</em>, but I am not a Roman so I am going with the accepted usage) destroyed in double time as they've degenerated in complete chaos. Some of us are not nice people online! I raise this issue early because I find myself with a peculiar affliction - and it seems that many of us face the same challenge. This means that it is all too easy to be bullied.<br /><br />On any given day I get a whole bunch of emails from clients and readers. Most are neutral questions and requests. A few are compliments about my book, or one of the sites, or a particular item I may have posted. These are pleasant. Every now and then I will get a truly nasty email from somebody: I didn't respond fast enough, the text on my site is too small, my mother is a snake, ... These are neutron bombs.<br /><br />Suddenly I find myself wanting to dive in and perform all sorts of miracles. Never mind that I've been getting 50 compliments for the same issues that Darth Vader is unhappy about.<br /><br />Some years ago I arrived in Sandton to host an evening seminar. As I cleared my mail I bumped into a 2000 word tour de force in which the writer assured me that I must be be descended from lying, thieving vermin because my claims about my seminar could not possibly be true. How could I, he exclaimed, honestly show folk how not to go out of business! And, in his final paragraph, just in case I might remotely have some skill, he asked for my help in bailing him out.<br /><br /><img class="imageStyle" alt="Netfontein likes Mike Reed's cartoons" src="http://www.netfontein.com/page2/files/FuriousTyper.jpg" width="188" height="146"/><br /><em>(</em><em><a href="http://redwing.hutman.net/%7Emreed/warriorshtm/furioustyper.htm" rel="external" title="Mike Reed produces great forum characters">Furious Typer</a></em><em>, one of a series of wonderful Flame Warriors from </em><em><a href="http://redwing.hutman.net/%7Emreed/index.htm" rel="external" title="Mike Reed produces great Warrior cartoons">Mike Reed</a></em><em>)</em><br /><br />My brother called as I finished reading the email. I asked for his advice, because I was awfully distressed. "I reckon if this guy has the time to write a 2000 word novel to you, then he has far bigger problems than you have. If he had a life, or a business, he wouldn't have the time or the inclination to harass you."<br /><br /><strong>The quick answer: take everything with a pinch of salt. Sticks and stones (as they say) can break your bones, but names can't hurt you. </strong><br /><br />In this case I simply returned the email and gently asked the writer to reread his missive, and ask himself how inspired he would be to offer any assistance if he was the recipient. A few days later he apologised.<br /><br />The only real challenge when you can easily touch 2 billion people from 300 different cultures is that you never know who chose today to have a really bad one.Peter Carruthershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16502944347938433968noreply@blogger.com0